Posted in Daily post

Mumma!!! I just killed a Cactus…

cactus

If Freddie Mercury has seen my garden before he sang Bohemian Rhapsody his lyrics could have been about a dead cactus rather than him declaring to his mother about killing a man.

You know how they say certain family traits skips a generation.  Well it certainly did when it came to my gardening skills.  Well a few more things could be added to that, sewing, knitting and other artistic skills.  My mother is a queen of all trades and I am master of none.  My mum has the ability to grow things out of nothing while I manage to kill a fully grown plant.

I am scientist’s daughter and I believe that I am trying to prove Charles Darwin’s theory of “survival of the fittest” in my garden.  Time to time I experiment which ones can survive the longest without water etc.  Of course there are casualties in this experiment.  Yes as per my heading suggests, I did kill a cactus.

I have rearranged Freddie’s song and my version as follows.  Sorry for all “Queen” fans if you find this appalling.  I love him too.  But seriously he was a musical genius but completely out of his mind.  I believe my lyrics makes more sense.

 

Is this the real life
Is this just madness
Caught in a heatwave
No escape from sun
Can’t Open my eyes
I Look out the curtains and see
I’m just a poor gardener, Please I need sympathy
Because plants are easy come, easy go,
Little water, no water
Anyway the hot wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me – to me

Mama, I just killed a cactus,
I didn’t put a gun against it’s head,
I didn’t Pull the trigger, but it’s dead,
Mama, spring has just begun,
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooo,
Didn’t mean to make you ashamed
I will be back again this time tomorrow
To Carry on, carry on, as if gardening matters

Too late, time has come,
For the cactus with the spines
It’s hot all the time,
Goodbye all the dead plants – sorry you got to go –
you all left me behind and to face the truth
Mama, ooo –
I don’t want to kill my plants,
I sometimes wish I’d never had a garden at all –

I am just a poor girl no plant seems love me

(ok I am going to miss the next verse it’s the one with “Gallileo, Gallileo”, it’s too crazy to decipher even after a glass of gin)

So you think you can shame me and wither right in front of my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh Cactus – why did you do that to me
You got me to be the worst Gardner of the year

Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters, nothing really matters – to me

………

Not true, The Garden matters to me, but not matter enough for me to wither in the scorching sun.  And sometimes I take the time to water them and apparently, I’ve stifled the plant with too much water.  Excuse me, I can’t seem to win.

I don’t ask for sympathy but maybe a bit of empathy.

 

 

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/sympathize/

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/stifle/

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/f/freddie_mercury/mamma_lyrics.html

 

Posted in Australian Politics

Ode to The Aussie Voter

mark anthony
out of; (c) Royal Shakespeare Company Collection; Supplied by The Public Catalogue Foundation

I wrote this in the time when Hon. Tony Abott was our dear Prime Minister.  I thought I will bring it out to remind the Aussie voter the Chaos we had under him.  And just a bit of laugh.  We could blame the Politicians for many things but we have to give them credit where it’s due.  They are very good for a laugh.

Parody from Shakespeare’s “Mark Anthony’s Funeral Oration”

Friends, Australians, Countrymen, Pensioners, Hardworking Middle class and dole bludgers lend me your ears;

I come to bury Rudd, Gillard, even Keating and Hawk not to praise them
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Tony and his comrades
The noble Sir Tony promisealot hath told you labor was useless:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Tony answer’d it or mumbled it.

Here, under leave of Brutus sorry Tony and the rest—
For Tony is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men, yes of course, when you think George Brandis doesn’t the word Honourable come to mind

Come I to speak in labours demise.
They were good for the nation I thought, stood up for 18C I thought,
Tony says they were useless
And Tony is an honourable man
Labour fought for our environment, disabled and the NBN
But Tony says we can’t afford it
And Brutas is an honourable man

They kept us safe during GFC
We kept our jobs and businesses survived
In this did labour seem useless?
But Tony says they were useless
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:
uselessness should be made of more useless stuff:
Like Baby bonus, sorry forgot that was not a labour vote grabbing idea
Yet Tony says they were useless;
And Tony is an honorable man.

Howard refused to say sorry and Rudd said sorry for all
We do not remember Rudd for that
Tony says Pink Bats, and we should follow him for he is an honourable man
Gillard passed 561 bills in her short time and so many so called great plans NDIS,NBN all up in smokes now anyway
But Tony says Carbon Tax – a broken promise, such an unknown territory for Brutus is an honourable man

I speak not to disprove what Tony spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did like them once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to yearn for them?

O Rupert! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with labour,
And I must pause till it come back to me.
But yesterday the word of Joe Hockey might
Have stood against the world;
Now our poor could be in par with the 3rd world.
Tony has such vision

O masters (Lord,Sir and Dames), if I were disposed to stir
Your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage,
I should do Brutus wrong, and Cassius wrong, or Tony, Hockey, Pyne, Morrison or my personal favourite Bradis wrong take your pick
Who, you all know, are honorable men:
I will not do them wrong; I rather choose
I say bring on an early election
And put us all out of such misery
Just remember Tony is an honourable man

To wrong the dead, to wrong myself and you,
Yes we elected Tony and Co, not me personally but some of you knob heads did
Than I will wrong such honorable men.

You are not wood, you are not stones, but awakened morons;
And, being awakened morons hearing the will of Tony,
It will inflame you, it will make you mad:
Will you be patient? Will you stay awhile?

I fear I wrong the honorable men