Posted in Daily post, True Story, Inspirational

What Happened to MH370?


8th March 2014, Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 just disappeared with all it’s passengers and crew.  Just disappeared into thin air.  The first day was chaotic. Families left behind were angry and sad.  They demanded answers and weren’t prepared to accept that a plane could just disappear.  Who could.  Days became weeks and now their hopes of recovering the bodies were disappearing too.  After nearly four years of search by different organisations, now the search is going to finally end.

I feel for the families who are struggling to move on.  Not just for those who perished on MH370.  But for all those families who have lost a family member because they’ve gone missing.  Parents of kids who have been kidnapped.  They have to not only deal with the grief of losing the loved one but also the added agony of not knowing what really happened.

Rivulets of tears almost drowning the flicker of hope but somehow they muster another day to wait in hope.

Taxes and death are the only sure thing they say.  It’s not just about accepting the death that is hard in this scenario.  But it is when, whom and how that makes it harder.

I am pretty sure they have said enough prayers and don’t need mine.  And it’s not like god was waiting for that last prayer from me to reunite these sad souls.  But other than a prayer I have nothing else to offer.


Posted in Daily post, True Story, Inspirational

I could have done more…

sad boy

It’s been a few years, at least  more than five years, but that little face is stuck in my head.  I still wonder what happened to him, did his life get any better? where is he? how did he turn out to be? I fear to find out the answer.

It was Christmas Eve and all the medical centers were closed other than just this one on Old Port Road.  Not sure what was the emergency, but Arj needed to see a doctor and we decided to take the plunge and go there.  You don’t need an appointment at this medical center, hence it’s always overflowing with patients.  We had no choice but to endure the wait and be there.

Next to us was a mother with a toddler in her hand and an older son.  I think he would have been around five or six years old.  The boy was bored and was showing signs of it.  The mother reprimanded him for that.  Although I could empathize with the boy (as a mum of two boys myself), I understood the mothers role.  Memories of dragging my two when they were that age came to mind and didn’t envy the mother at all.

As time passed, we noticed that, she was playing with toddler, hugging and kissing the toddler, it was all about the toddler.  Each time the little boy would come to join in, she would push him away.

I was feeling very uncomfortable with this scene.  She started to talk very loudly, and would blame the boy for infecting the toddler.  As per her she had asked him not to kiss the baby and he still did it and now since the baby is sick he has to put up with being at the surgery.  Such conversations happened a few times.

Now it was getting dark and late.  Well past dinner time.  So he asked if he could get a few coins to buy a snack from the snack machine.  For which she gave the same line “no, it is because of you that we are here…” Unfortunately the snack machine is not in that building, it’s the next building otherwise I would have just bought a few snacks and given it to him and Arj and pretended that I was just sharing.

I was planning many things in my head. I was thinking maybe I could loudly announce to my son “Arj here” and hand him some money “go and grab some snacks, take him too (pointing to that boy)looks like he is hungry, not safe for him to go on his own” etc.  I was thinking of asking Arj secretly to find out the boys name and which school he attends while they are going for the snacks.  So I could inform the school and ask them to keep an eye on this kid.  In my eyes this was a horrible type of child abuse.  Mental abuse.

While I was debating what to do, she threw some money at him.  And it fell under the chairs.  He excitedly crawled under the seat and got the money.  It was only two 5c coins.  He innocently asked “can I go mum to buy something”.  She started to laugh at him “you silly, it’s only 10c’s, you can’t buy anything for that”.  The poor kid started to cry.  I wanted to join him.

Just then our doctor emerged and called us in. Uncomfortably I headed to the doctors.  I wanted to say something to the doctors. But I didn’t.  Do you think I feel guilty? More than you can imagine.  Maybe I didn’t want to blame another mother without knowing what was really the circumstance.  I don’t know why but no words came out.

When we came out they had gone into the doctors.  Arj could see I was rather distraught.  He kept assuring me that there was nothing I could have done.  Coming closer to home I got an idea.  I hurriedly got home.  Nearing Christmas I had many chocolate boxes in my cupboard. With the excuse of Christmas I could give him one.  So I grabbed the box of chocolate and ran back to the medical center.

I ran upstairs to the waiting area and like I feared, they were not there.  I went up to the receptionist and explained that I know due patient confidentiality and all that she can’t really tell me much, but I was only wanting to give a box of chocolate to a little boy.  I described the mum and two kids sitting next to me and asked if they had come out of the doctors room, have they left etc.  She said  ” I can’t say much, and it’s not me saying it but if it was me, I would look near the toilets downstairs”.

I ran back down stairs again.  I had missed them.  I looked around the car park.  They were no where to be seen.  I knew I couldn’t change his life by giving him a box of chocolate.  But I wanted him to feel loved at least by a stranger.  Just to see a glimpse of smile on his face at least just for once.

I don’t know why that mother behaved that way.  I don’t know if that was her step son or her own son.  I understand the pressures of having a toddler and another child.  I have been there when Arj was really sick and I spent months in Hospital with him.  I felt so guilty and felt that I was neglecting my eldest.  I probably did.

No amount of hugs from hubby could wipe off the guilt I felt.  Even to this day his face haunts me.  I just hope that mother got some help.  I just hope that was just one bad day for that boy and not his destiny.  I just hope things didn’t get worse for him.

That is one regret that I don’t wan’t to ever repeat again.






Daily word Prompt Guilty:


Posted in Daily post, True Story, Inspirational

Putting his foot in it… Awkward

My Beloved turns Sixty tomorrow.


So I thought it is only fitting that I talk about some of his monumental “putting his foot in it” moments.  Not that he is the one who feels embarrassed or awkward, I am usually the one left to cover up the situation.

I could write a book about these incidents but unfortunately some of them might be far too politically incorrect.  Almost all of them are politically incorrect but if I avoid them I won’t have anything to write about.

Before you judge him, yes he is politically completely incorrect.  However, he has the most amazing heart.  He will help anyone with any colour, race or religion, but don’t ask him to recite Baa Baa rainbow sheep.

Here we go, with one of the gems.

We had been invited to another Aus/Sri Lankan family for dinner.  There were many people there and we didn’t know many of them. That has never been a deterrent for my husband to completely take over the conversation.  While he was holding the fort in the lounge room I went into the kitchen to help the host.  Suddenly the host rushed in and frantically starts to talk to me.

She goes “Uma, you need to hurry, your husband, he is talking about religion(anti)”, and she points to a couple and says, “they are very strong Christians, you need to make him stop”, I tried to get his attention without raising others attention, but to no avail.  The man was very impressed with his audience and he wasn’t going to give up the floor any time soon.  The said couple kept quiet and didn’t voice their opinion or objection.  The long night finally ended.  And each guest was now finally leaving one by one.  We were about to leave and my husband notices ‘The couple’ waiting.  They make eye contact and they answered to a question we never asked “we are not from Sydney, we are just about to call for a cab”.

All night, I have been trying very hard to avoid them and to keep my husband away from them as well.  But alas, my husband asks them where they were staying and announces that it in fact, that place was on our way and would love to offer them a lift.  My heart just sank.  I have no idea why but the couple accepted the offer.  It was a long awkward drive back home.

The above is the politically corrected version.



Posted in True Story, Inspirational

30 Day Challenge


Back story behind my last blog “Vicky has the last laugh”

Vicky was part of our small Gym group.  It’s not one of those 24 hr gyms where you turn up individually on your own time.  This is a small gym with a trainer and set class times.  This is not a place for just vanity.  We have members who compete on Iron Man/woman competitions and then there is me.  But it doesn’t matter I am still there.  We all train at the same time but at our own pace.  There is always a lot of laughter and friendly banter.  Most of us train with our family.  So most of us know each others partners and kids and the life stories that goes with it.  Saturday training usually follows a stop at a cafe for more chat and bonding.  So we all knew Vicky very well.  At least we thought we knew.  Obviously we missed the sign that she was going to end her life with no warning.

Our trainer Damien time to time sets up a monthly challenge or a sixty day challenge.  We have to come up with our own challenge.  We have to come up with a fitness/physical challenge and diet/nutrition challenge.  For example – Fitness could be to succeed something at the end of the 30 day period, such as, be able to do 10 chin ups or be able to run a certain distance or it could be do something daily activity eg run/walk.  Nutrition could be you give up chocolate for a month or alcohol.  The main point it has to challenge the individual.

This time Damien has included another category called the “well being”.  This is for our mental well being.  An activity that would relax us but due to our busy lives we normally don’t make an effort to do it.

This challenge kicked off yesterday.  I have chosen to write for a minimum of half an hour everyday.  This is my well being challenge.  I enjoy writing most times.  What comes out depends on what I am feeling at that time.  Hence I end up with posts which are funny, sad or even mad.

When I am happy writing makes me exude even more,

when I am sad, it makes me heal

when I am mad it gives me the space to vent

This is something that would really make me happy and relaxed.  Lately I have looked for excuses such as ‘word’ on my little tablet was not working, too tired to go upstairs to use the PC etc and hence the reason for my long absence from the blogging world.  Yes, the tablet was not working, Yes flight to upstairs looked very dreary.  But at the end of the day they were still excuses.

So for the next 30 days I will attempt to write every day even if it’s only a small blog. And hopefully that habit becomes permanent, where I set time for MYSELF too.

If there are any subjects or topics you think I should write about please feel free to suggest.

challenge 2

I have a great story for the word “awkward” for tomorrow.  See you tomorrow, same time same place.  Might not be same time but definitely tomorrow.



Posted in Suicide

Vicky has the last laugh

sick smiling

Vicky bids goodbye, rather abruptly.  My mind reels repeatedly “it can’t be that Vicky”.  But it was that Vicky.  She filled the room with laughter the day before, but she had none left for the day after.

We are left with questions and no answers.  How did we miss the signs?   suicide attention

What was the tipping point? I am trying to fathom the concept of Suicide. Again, I am left with more questions than answers.

Too many youngsters are departing the same way.  With new technology we are meant to be more connected than ever before.  But why is there such a disconnect with reality and society? We build a society in the virtual world but fail to know our neighbors.  “Love thy neighbor” has become “like my post”.

Is social media the only criminal here for the disconnect? I think there are many aspects of the society that needs a rethink.  We despise bullying.  But are the right actions taken to educate the society? The birth of reality TV relies and promotes bullying.  Even an innocent cooking show turns into a drama for ratings.  So instead of learning to cook we learn how to be bully.  Our kids are watching the adults and repeating the same.

A label for everything.  If you are genius you are a ‘nerd’.  If you like reading books you a ‘nerd’. If you are virgin you are a ‘mary’.  If you had more than two boyfriends you are a ‘slut’.  You are judged if you have a drink, you are judged if you don’t.  You are judged on what you wear, what you eat, what you drive, where you live.

The society cares about all that about you, other than saying “We care you live”

The society is Me, you and them.  Today I like to say to each and everyone who is struggling

“I care you live”,

I am sure there are many ‘You’s’ out there who will join me and say


together we can defeat ‘them’.

when you feel like giving up

Each one of us, is only promised today.  Tomorrow is a blessing for you and me.  Tomorrow would be much nicer with you than just me.


We all need somebody.  Let me be that somebody.

I don’t want to bid goodbye again.


Posted in True Story, Inspirational

Gun control – the need to take a shot at it

Written by Mahesa Abbey I am guessing after the Sandy Hook school shooting.

Mahesa Abeynayake

On a cold, wintery morning in Tasmania, a 28-year-old woke up to the sound of his alarm clock.

He then loaded a surfboard onto the roof of his car, stopped for some coffee, and bought some tomato sauce and a lighter from the local supermarket.

He then drove down to a guest house and shot the couple who owned the bed and breakfast with an AR-10 semi-automatic assault rifle.

The man with long blond hair continued on his way heading towards Port Arthur, a former convict colony which had become a popular tourist attraction.

Having purchased the entrance ticket he quietly parked his car in the car park next to the Broad Arrow Cafe.

The large black bag was noticed by witnesses as he entered the café where tourists sit down to relax and have a meal, or shop for souvenirs at the adjoining gift shop.

He consumed a fairly…

View original post 1,287 more words

Posted in Sports

Ball Tampering … The Biggest Brain Fart



24th of March 2018 was a dark day for the Australian Cricket team and it’s fans.  And it’s not because we lost the game, but because we lost the essence of sports.  In the era of billion dollar sponsorship’s and big salaries, sports has become a business.  We see this not just in Cricket, but in every other sports.  Winning at all cost.

There is a lot of noise in the main stream media and even on social media currently about the three players Cameron Bancroft, David Warner and Steve Smith. The whole of Australia, even those who don’t follow Cricket have something to say.  In the public’s eye they were villains who brought discredit to the game and to Australia.

Where did I stand on this issue and where am I now?

I was livid. I was disgusted.  I was disappointed in Steve Smith.  I had such great regard for Steve Smith until then.  I admired the way he played, the way he captained.  Cool, calm collected and a young man with great talent and temperament. All that tarnished by a moment of insanity.  I could never accept cheating.  And there was no dressing this up as anything else. This was blatant cheating.

Australian team as well as the public have never gone easy on other teams and always taken the high moral ground on other teams for even the smell of cheating.  Memories don’t fail me when I recall the incident or incidents of 2006 Australia vs Sri Lanka, how Sri Lankan spin bowler Muttiah Muralitharan was tormented by the bias umpires, Australian Team and the Australian public.  Here was one up and coming young bowler from a third world country, but he showed talent, the only way to get him out of the picture was to brand him as “chucking”.  In this scenario it was not even cheating and his actions were cleared later as not ‘chucking’.  In such issues facts don’t matter.  Bantering continues with baseless allegations by the faceless men and women of Australia.

I learnt a new word after coming to Australia – Gamesmanship.  Then Wicket Keeper Ian Healy was the master of it.  He called sledging was Gamesmanship.  At the beginning I was against it.  I thought this was a Gentleman’s game and sledging hard no place in it.  In time I came to accept it.  Still it bothered me when Fast Bowler Glen Mc Grath was teased in the West Indies and he lost his cool.  Not sure what was said but it was about his wife.  She was battling cancer at the time.  I am really not sure how anyone can stoop to that level to banter someone using their dying partner.  Yes, they crossed the line there.  But then again Glen Mc Grath himself is no saint.  He once called a Sri Lankan player (I believe could be another from the sub continent) “black monkey” because the other player hit his ball for a four.  I don’t think that Glen is a racist.  Just that he was angry, annoyed and exasperated at that time and wrong words came out.  Which can happen to any one of us.  How many of us are guilty on the road when we mutter to ourselves “bloody Asian drivers”.  The difference is, we are not in the public arena and on camera.

Coming back to Steve Smith and the other two, why did they do it?  I don’t think winning at all cost was the only motivator.  I don’t know much about Cameron so I am not going to comment.  Warner probably was at his wits ends.  Sledging about his wife, the fans wearing Sunny Bill Williams face mask etc.  Warner himself has accused South Africa of ball tampering in 2014 and was fined for the comments he made without concrete evidence.  I am not sure if he thought they were still guilty (South African’s).  Well let’s not forget their captain Faf du Plessis was caught twice before.  It’s a lame excuse but it’s still an excuse “everyone does it”.  Maybe that was what he was thinking.  But the outcome shows that there was not much thinking.

I still cannot fathom what was going through Steve Smith’s head. My verdict for Steve Smith might be biased.  I am not saying he is not guilty.  But it takes a great man to admit his fault so wholeheartedly.

I wonder whether we as a society created this issue.  When these young men (and women) enter the main arena, we are surprised, pleased and overjoyed at their talents and success.  We praise the budding talents.  For us they are new to the scene.  But the fact is that they have been in the scene for a long time.  They had given up their weekends and mornings before and after school on training.  They had given up their holidays and friends for more training.  They had already given up on their childhood.  Now they are finally on the main arena.

Good life begins with sponsors, six figure salaries and the spotlight.  Well that’s what we see.  They are under scrutiny from the first match.  Two consecutive bad scores and we are ready to write them off.  We say we shouldn’t have this mentality “winning at all costs”.  But are we happy if they lose?  We see time after time sportsmen facing depression and anxiety.  We hoist them at their peek and then drop them without a second thought, when they have given it all and got nothing left.  Ian Thorpe, Graham Hackett, Geoff Huegill, the list goes on.  We drive them to hit rock bottom.

Maybe there is a lesson in this.  Let’s teach our young to do their best.  To never give up.  But accept the fact there is one winner and also not the winner in every battle.  Let’s clean up our own mess before we take the broom to our neighbors.  Sledging and gamesmanship has to go.  Let’s replace it with Sportsmanship.

A moments lapse of misjudgment has now destroyed Steve Smith’s great future.  I can’t but feel terribly sorry for this young man.  I think he knows it more than anyone else, that he is to blame and no one else.  He has passed a harsher judgement on himself than anyone else.

I feel for these players mental health, I feel for these players partners and their kids.  For those who have not listened to this press conference, please do.  In my books he is still a man with a lot of integrity.  He said sorry, He took responsibility.  It’s a lot more than what some churches have done.